Let's forget for a moment about the blatant use of the terms "adoptive mother" and "adoptive father". "Mother" and "Father" would suffice. Just this week, a local missing child case was reopened and every single report mentioned how "the adoptive father" was the last person to see him and how "the adoptive father" won't answer any questions. I will never understand why it matters. A father is a father. But I digress. I'm here today to talk about something that is on the minds of our country and I'm sure many people around the world.
The news reports are chilling. I find myself stopping to shed a tear if I think too much about it. Just this morning H caught me bawling while running on the treadmill from the reports I was seeing on The Today show. I am an emotional woman. Everyone knows this about me and I am probably one of the most sympathetic people you will ever meet. I cry when someone else has cramps. (Ok, not really but when I see someone in pain, I feel it.) H says it is because I have had my own tragedies....from health issues to pregnancy losses and a few other things I don't discuss. He has become more sympathetic,too. (He thinks I am using my estrogen to turn him into a woman.)
This is why I get so pissed when all of the Reporters say things like "Every parents is feeling this tragedy" and " All parents across this country are sympathizing". Really? You mean to tell me that only parents can feel empathy for the poor people in that town and the tiny victims? Our local media even stalked parents at an elementary school to ask them what they thought of it all.
Of course, I am offended because of our history of loss and failure at conceiving but I have to tell you that I know a lot of childless people,some even by choice, that are feeling this tragedy as well. My friend's sister died of cancer and it broke my heart. No, it has never happened to me but that doesn't mean that I can't sense the pain and feel that deep sadness. What about the 6 adults that were killed? I am sure some of them were husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, daughters and sons. I am a sister,a daughter, a wife and an aunt.
Savannah Guthrie got it right when she opened the show by saying that anyone who knows a child, loves a child or has cared for a child is so upset about this tragedy. (Not a direct quote but you get the picture) I have nieces and nephews that I adore and no, I am not raising them but they mean the world to me. To even think of someone hurting or killing children their age shakes me to the core.
Some days I wonder if we should even adopt. I wonder if I want to raise a child in a world where a gunman can walk into a school and kill children and steal the innocence of every child that witnessed the massacre. Things like this make me so afraid to become a parent and it makes me question my ability to do so.
I will continue to grieve like the rest of the country, parents and non- parents alike. My prayers and thoughts are concentrated on everyone involved from the victims to the emergency workers and police officers. But especially for the families, who have a long road ahead of them. I wish them peace and comfort and that someday they can find their way back to happiness and joy.