The holidays. The EDD for miscarriage #2 (and the 3rd birthday of my "due date twin's" twins) No matches yet. My sister just jumping on the TTC/infertility carousel. H's SIL on pregnancy #2. The fiscal cliff and what that might mean for the Adoption Tax Credit and our best shot at affording adoption without going broke. Multiple (as in more than 11) photo Christmas cards of other people's kids. There is a whole list of non-child related stuff,too.
We are going on Christmas #7 trying to grow our family but there are still just 2 of us. The 1st year was the best year. We were having lots of sex and we were oblivious to the fact that it was never going to work. The 2nd year I was really sick with Crohn's issues and the 3rd,4th,and 5th years we were taking breaks between IVF treatments. Year #6 was the year we decided to adopt and we probably felt the most optimistic about our future. I even thought we might have some news by now. (Not H....he is a bit more cynical) I'm getting so tired. Tired of the longing. Tired of the fear. Tired of wondering when. Tired of everyone else having everything come easy to them.
It's been a rough week and I'm just in "that place" right now. Thanks for letting me unload.