Calm breeze 3 column

Monday, May 13, 2013

Some news to share

I had a dream last Wednesday night. It took place out of town in some museum.  We (My Mom and my sisters and I ) were there for a reason but that is still not clear. I happened to be carrying around a baby girl. She was wearing a black velvet track suit (not my all). Somehow, my Mom knew this was my baby but it was a surprise to my sisters. Everything about the dream was so vivid. I will spare you the details but I can remember it so clearly and I woke up so happy and peaceful.

Later that afternoon, my Family Advocate called. She told us that the EM that looked at our profile the week before had chosen us. I know this is kind of a shock. I was afraid to jinx myself by saying anything.

You see, the week after our conference call with the agency Director, we received 2 profiling 1 week! The 1st call was a situation that we were not comfortable with but call #2 was regarding a baby girl due on July 10th. This (if everything goes according to plan) will be our baby girl.

At this point we have only told immediate family. We still have 58 days to go before the due date and then another 30 day wait once the baby is in our things could change. (Although we have been told the EM is sure about placing.)

To say we are happy doesn't even come close. We are euphoric! I am still being very cautious,though. H is working on the baby's room so I have to make some plans. I do admit to purchasing a bedding set so I can match the paint colors but it went against everything in my nature to do so.

I want to believe that this is IT but my past is long and heartbreaking when it comes to family building. One minute I am making registries and imagining a baby girl in my arms the next minute I am trying not to think about it. My stomach is in absolute knots and I haven't been sleeping great, either. Could it really be this easy for us? Let's hope so!

On the ride into work today, I had the thought that it is a good thing I never was pregnant. I have 58 days to wait and see how this all plays out.....9 months may have killed me.

Keep us in your thoughts and keep the EM in your thoughts as well. If it is this difficult for us, I can only imagine what she must be going through.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

A few developments

I have been so stressed lately. We are coming up on a year of being home study ready and some recent interactions with my agency had me feeling less than confident in their ability to find us a match.

My Family Advocate (FA) had not called me in months. If it were not for me reaching out then I am not sure if she would have. Hubby and I decided to take action and we booked a conference call with the agency Director/CEO. An adoptive Mom who started the agency 13 years ago. We met her a little over a year ago and felt that she would be able to help us.

The call went very well. We chose not to make it about our experience with our crappy FA (eloquent, I know but I can't seem to find a better word to describe her). Instead, we decided to try and get her to partner with us to come up with ideas about how we can get more profiling calls. She knew our file inside and out and that impressed us both. She did not think our grids were limiting us at all. In fact, most people are not open to out of state placements or face to face meetings with EPs. She loved our profile book and did not think it was an issue (especially considering only 1 couple has even seen it). She did suggest that we make it less wordy and get rid of a few red eye pics. 

She also explained that the profiling is done by EP request. If the expectant parents request a particular thing that does not match who you are (i.e having a dog, a particular degree, lives on a farm) then you will not be shown. EPs get to see 5 profiles so sometimes they will sneak in profiles from couples that have been waiting over a year even if they don't match exactly. That made us feel better,too. Unfortunately, I have no faith in our FA or the fact that she even remembers to pull our profile book when there are opportunities. Without asking, I was told that is not the case.

The best part of the call was when she told us "You will get your baby....I just don't know when but it will happen". I would love for my FA to be that supportive....sometimes you just need to be reassured. Right on the website, the agency lists the following characteristic as something that makes them stand out: "You will be provided your own agency representative known as a Family Advocate that will offer you support and compassion throughout the process." I dare say that we have experienced neither support nor compassion from our FA....and I know for a fact that other waiting families have the same complaint.

As far as I can tell, the conference call had the desired effect. We had the call the last Friday in April and we received 2 profiling calls that week. I'll share that news in another post.