I have been so stressed lately. We are coming up on a year of being home study ready and some recent interactions with my agency had me feeling less than confident in their ability to find us a match.
My Family Advocate (FA) had not called me in months. If it were not for me reaching out then I am not sure if she would have. Hubby and I decided to take action and we booked a conference call with the agency Director/CEO. An adoptive Mom who started the agency 13 years ago. We met her a little over a year ago and felt that she would be able to help us.
The call went very well. We chose not to make it about our experience with our crappy FA (eloquent, I know but I can't seem to find a better word to describe her). Instead, we decided to try and get her to partner with us to come up with ideas about how we can get more profiling calls. She knew our file inside and out and that impressed us both. She did not think our grids were limiting us at all. In fact, most people are not open to out of state placements or face to face meetings with EPs. She loved our profile book and did not think it was an issue (especially considering only 1 couple has even seen it). She did suggest that we make it less wordy and get rid of a few red eye pics.
She also explained that the profiling is done by EP request. If the expectant parents request a particular thing that does not match who you are (i.e having a dog, a particular degree, lives on a farm) then you will not be shown. EPs get to see 5 profiles so sometimes they will sneak in profiles from couples that have been waiting over a year even if they don't match exactly. That made us feel better,too. Unfortunately, I have no faith in our FA or the fact that she even remembers to pull our profile book when there are opportunities. Without asking, I was told that is not the case.
The best part of the call was when she told us "You will get your baby....I just don't know when but it will happen". I would love for my FA to be that supportive....sometimes you just need to be reassured. Right on the website, the agency lists the following characteristic as something that makes them stand out: "You will be provided your own agency representative known as a Family Advocate that will offer you support and compassion throughout the process." I dare say that we have experienced neither support nor compassion from our FA....and I know for a fact that other waiting families have the same complaint.
As far as I can tell, the conference call had the desired effect. We had the call the last Friday in April and we received 2 profiling calls that week. I'll share that news in another post.