Calm breeze 3 column

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Life imitates art....kind of.

I don't know why I insist on watching the most disturbing shows right before bed. (Besides the fact that is the time that they air....I mean I could DVR them and watch them later.)

If you are an adoptive mom/mom in waiting or even a birth mom or expectant mom, you must know that I am referring to Private Practice. It was seriously like a train wreck that I could not turn away from. So emotional, so poignant and so much a part of what I could be dealing with some day. It was bad enough when they dealt with infertiles who were going through IVF and losing their babies and freezing their eggs but now that H and I are right in the thick of the adoption process, they decide to switch gears and apply to us once again. ( H still thinks we are setting all kids of trends on TV but I tell him it's just that he never paid attention. For the past few years it has been all about IVF. Now, he thinks everyone is adopting.)

As much as the show rattled me, it also had some comforting parts. When/if you see it you will understand. Almost every day I wonder what kind of relationship we will have with our baby's birth mother. Will we be close? Will she want an open adoption? How will I set boundaries? It's all so scary and confusing and exciting at the same time. I have seen so many amazing examples of positive birth parent/adoptive parent relationships and as much as I want that, a part of me wants to be selfish and hope that the birth mother doesn't want to be involved. It all comes down to whatever is best for the child and I suppose there is just no way to tell until we are matched.
I won't spoil anything for you but I will say that they did a decent job of exposing all sides of the adoption triad. Some of the language was a bit old fashioned and I would probably correct people for using terms like "give up your baby" if I heard them say it in real life. But that's just it. People say offensive things to parents all the time. Too bad they weren't able to use the episode as a teaching moment. I'm sure they will get all kinds of mail from people touched by adoption.

Thanks to Private Practice (once again) I woke up with puffy,red eyes and extra tired. Pure torture.

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